you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
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