Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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