How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
