Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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