if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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