Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
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