it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
