I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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