if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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