I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
