please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
