i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
