I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
