he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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