you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
