Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
