all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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