it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
