White coat. Heels.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
