your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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