the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
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