I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
thus making me awesome and them whores
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
