Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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