i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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