Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
