watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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