i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
