Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I don't deserve a penis
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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