I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize