well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
