He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
