I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
