oh god the rape fog is back!
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Randomize
