Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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