I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
