why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
