FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
