apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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