i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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