i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I just want to make out with him forever
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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