We're like a lot better than the average bears
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
