I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
