I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize