So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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