you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize