Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
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