Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
NoShamevember. You game?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
