theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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