We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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