fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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