i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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