After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
