i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
How naked do you want me to be?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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