U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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