nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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