he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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