And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Just puked most of my soul out..
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
