Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
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