Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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