explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
