oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
