Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
