I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
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