Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
