I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
