He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize