So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
ttyl tear gas
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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