whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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