I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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