Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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