I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Randomize
