I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
