I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
