I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
