Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize