I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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