No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
