My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
how does that bad decision feel?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
