I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
True strength comes from lack of pants
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
