Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
