How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
