girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
