I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
